When our good family friend passed away, I wanted to die so that I could be with her. I was angry, upset and depressed and I cried for about 6 months. Cleaning out her house and having the burden of going through her things and deciding what to do with everything took a toll on my emotional well being. This was long before I realized that I was an atheist.
That all came back when I received a call that my good friend of over 30 years lost her brother. Their family is very religious and they would be somewhat disappointed in the route I've taken. I used to go to church with them on holidays and they were a very positive influence on me from the ages of 14 to 18. Although they'd probably forgive me, I keep my feelings and opinions a secret from them.
Losing a friend is never easy but when they are only 45 years old, it makes me really mad and upset. When I spoke to the father of the friend who passed away today, he said over and over again how he finds peace and comfort in knowing that his son is with the Lord and God. His sister has said the same thing on facebook.
Where do atheists find peace and comfort in death? Because once again, I'm just sad, angry and upset.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
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7 comments:
Speaking for myself...I am comforted by the idea of non-existence. Life has some great moments but my life has also had more than it's fair share of bad moments. The concept of a heaven spent praising a god or a hell of grief or punishment sounds like more of the same of the bad parts of this life to me.
There is no comfort in death.
There is only loss, comforting memories, and as evolveintobirds said, the peace of non-existence.
Thanks E and XO,
I appreciate you.
Death sucks and it is rarely fair. It is the end of opportunity.
As an atheist there is no comfort that they "are in a better place". There is also no fear that they will "suffer for all eternity". For the deceased, there is oblivion. For those still living, there are memories and lessons.
The memories of all that you shared with the person who is gone and the lessons you can learn from them.
The person lives on, in you. In the decisions you make that are influenced by them. Whether it is the things you wish they had done differently and so you do them differently, or the decisions that they would have wanted you to make, advised you to make, or would have bullied you into doing what is best for you.
The acute pain will subside, the sense of loss and regret will diminish, but it will never vanish. It will become a part of you.
Peace and comfort comes from sharing memories with others and time.
Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.
Basically what XO said, but longer and more Rafiki.
8-)
Thanks Fiery!
Hugs and love!
My loss of faith has evolved over time, though looking back as a child, I was a doubter from an early age.
Some find comfort in the idea that we will live on forever... but what could that possibly be like? In heaven supposedly there is no pain or suffering. Many people find meaning in life by helping others, professionally, or as volunteers. But in Heaven no one needs help, you can't have the satisfaction of making things better because everything is already perfect.
Will my Mother look old and with gray hair or will she be young and beautiful like before I was born and knew her.
I find the whole concept of Heaven or afterlife very disturbing and not comforting at all.
The questions go on and on. For me, a believer friend summed it all up when she said: "The more you think about it, the harder it is to believe." Her course was to choose not to think. But if God made us, wouldn't he want us to use the brain he gave us?
I see no evidence of a God of universe, and my readings have convinced me that the Bible (all religious texts) are the work of man, not God.
I find my comfort in the predictability of the Universe, and the finiteness of life makes it precious.
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